一，如果爱我 你就呼吸。
If you love me, you breathe.
二，就我这暴脾气 抱一下就没事了 四个人同时追我我有什么办法 只能交闪现了啊。
Just give me a quick hug and I'll be fine. Four people chase me at the same time. What can I do but flash? You
三，喜欢在下午更新动态，因为你早晚都会爱上我。
I like to update the news in the afternoon, because you will love me sooner or later.
四，为什么心情不好的时候吃东西，因为伤心欲嚼。
Why do you eat when you are in a bad mood, because you are sad and want to chew
五，只有我一个人觉得您的收费有点贵吗？你们以为我是网红不回消息，其实我在厂里加班。
You think I'm a net red, but I work overtime in the factory.
六，别人的青春疼痛：恋爱，分手，和好，分手。我的青春疼痛：痛风，偏头痛，肌肉拉伤，颈椎病。
Others' youth pain: falling in love, breaking up, making up, breaking up. My youth pain: gout, migraine, muscle strain, stiff vertebra disease.
七，我不太喜欢太短的男生 跟我聊天能不能多打几个字。
I don't like boys who are too short to chat with me. Can you type more words
八，能触摸到的痛苦是什么就是我感觉肚子都饿扁了但是一模还是一坨肉。
What is the pain that can be touched is that I feel hungry and flat, but it is still a lump of meat
九，不管我在忙什么，我都会抽空玩手机，这大概就是我专一稳定的好品质吧。
No matter what I am busy with, I will find time to play with my mobile phone, which is probably my good quality of being single-minded and stable.
十，我看你的小脑袋瓜一定是热昏头了。
I think your little brain must be hot and faint.
十一，看到圆圆的石头要翻开看看有没有派大星每次用海绵洗碗前要先轻声问一句：你准备好了吗。
When you see the round Stone, you should open it to see if there is a big star. Before washing dishes with sponge, you should ask softly: Are you ready?
十二，在微信被叫老婆可以当真吗 可以带着聊天记录证据去登记结婚吗？
Can the called wife take it seriously on WeChat? Can she register for marriage with the chat record evidence?
十三，不是说鱼的记忆只有7秒吗？那为什么还要跟锦鲤许愿呀 应该找锦鲤借钱。
Didn't you say that fish only have seven seconds to remember? Then why make a wish with koi? You should borrow money from koi
十四，招暑假工会用微信或者支付宝就行 工作内容是每天给我转两百块每个月工资两千五 傻得来不傻骂不过。
Recruit summer unions to use WeChat or Alipay. The job content is to transfer me 200 yuan a day, and the monthly salary is 2,500 yuan. It's not stupid to scold me.
十五，你听听我的心跳，有没有发现我心动了。
Listen to my heart beat. Do you see my heart bea
十六，该怎么得到你，麻袋还是甜言蜜语。
How to get you, sack or sweet talk
